Not much rattles me these days, but I'm a ball of nervous irrational energy today.
It’s my daughter’s first day of day care.
Realistically, I have little to complain about. I am fortunate to have a relationship with a trusted day care professional, who was able to fit Anika in quickly. I’m excited for Anika to meet, socialize and play with other children. I’m happy she is in a small environment where she will get a lot of individual attention.
But I still have that feeling in my stomach. Not a gut feeling that something is wrong, just a feeling that is … mom nerves, I guess. I know in my gut that Anika will do great in a day care environment. She loves other children and of course, loves to play. We spent a little time at the center to get her prepared. When we left together, she fussed!
This morning as we walked up the steps, she giggled. And she didn’t cry when I left, (which is a completely new phase in the last few weeks).
What am I nervous about? I can’t put a finger on it. Why can’t I put a finger on it? Because there is no logical reason to be nervous. (Mothers don’t have to be logical when it comes to their children, right?)
This afternoon I called the day care center, just to make sure that Anika wasn’t in the midst of a crying fit, missing me or unhappy in an unknown place with new people. Before I heard a hello, I heard Anika’s giggles in the background.
Yep, she is fine, just like I knew she would be. I didn’t even have to ask.
The mom nerves have yet again got the best of me. I think I may never be comfortable and calm without my daughter in my arms – or at least in direct view. And until that day comes, I will still unreasonably count the minutes until I can pick her up.
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