Just when I thought it was safe to leave the house

NOTE: I like to keep organized, so I'm reposting some old blogs to keep them in one spot. This one originally ran on February 20, 2009

After being in daycare for six months, my daughter has began — again — screaming and clinging to me when I leave. Really, it’s almost unbearable.

This is the girl who still immediately runs up to knock on the daycare door, giggles as we arrive and plays and dances all day with her friends and cries a little when I leave. We had just gotten into a great routine.

But something has changed. I’m not ashamed to admit that last week was the very first day I cried the whole way to work. I just felt something was wrong if she was reacting that strongly to my departure. What if she was getting sick and needed a little extra love and time with her mom?

Then our daycare director told me it was common for toddlers to go through a second stage of separation anxiety.

What?? That is completely not fair. We just got over round one of separation anxiety (hers and mine), and drop-offs just started going smoothly. Things were going so well that I had my mom babysit so I could go out for my first child-free dinner since Anika’s birth 17 months ago.

And now it’s back? Separation anxiety again? I better start to toughen up because this stage is news to me. I’ve never heard of a second round of separation anxiety, but now I hear it’s normal.

Even if it’s normal, it’s still not fair.  Now I'm the one who wants to scream and stomp her feet each morning!

luck is in the eye of the beholder

NOTE: I like to be organized, so I'm reposting my old blogs to have them all in one place. This originally ran on August  21,2008.



As I walked away from my screaming daughter at daycare today, one of the other moms looked at me and said, "You're so lucky, my son runs away when I come to pick him up at the end of the day."

The last two days have been the worst yet—for me. The screaming unwilling goodbyes, the knowledge that Anika is in teething pain and just wants to cuddle with her mom.

The mornings seem rough for Anika, too, in the beginning. But after she calms down, she'll find some fun toys and play with her new friends. I know she's in great hands and the director tells me every day that she is doing better every day. (And I believe her.)

In fact, she said yesterday was "super!" Her first super day started off with a screaming goodbye, too, so I try not to let worry consume me. I left quickly, gave Anika a kiss and an "I love you" and calmly walked out. Then I ran to the car and sped off.

It's a rough way to start your day. As miserable as it is for me, it's nice to think that other moms call it lucky. Maybe they miss the Separation Anxiety Stage. I can't imagine it, but I maybe I will too.